What a fucking waste of an outfit
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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