i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
