Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
We are two peas in an std pod
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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