She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
