I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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