My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
