'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
