The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
