make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
