i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
