Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Randomize
