Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
