dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
So squirting runs in the family.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
