Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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