Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
