I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
