I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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