I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
