No, you can still breathe under the balls.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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