As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
