You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
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