she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
