Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
