Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
