Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
