Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(515): View more from Iowa

Three words: puerto rican gang bang

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(604): View more from British Columbia

And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"

(973): View more from New Jersey

That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.

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(228): View more from Mississippi

Are you high right now?

(1-228): View more from Mississippi

is that a question or a drake reference?

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(850): View more from Florida

Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!

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