nut hugger
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
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