Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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