Capitaan dildo arrescate!
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
