why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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