It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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