i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize