Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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