i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
