they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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