Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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