is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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