My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize