I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
