My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
