Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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