So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
