She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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