Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
