Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
We left the knife in your bed.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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