sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
