goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
