wanna go halves on a baby?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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