I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
