i don't plan on having that self control this summer
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I think my moral compass just broke
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
