Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
