I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
