I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Four minutes until I can fart!
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
