i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize