Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
