I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
