"it" just moved
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
