This dress was meant to end up on your floor
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I could fuck to npr.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize