He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
