I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
