i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
