Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
