She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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