That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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