I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
