we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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