I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
