Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
