why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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