did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
