made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
