Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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