Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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