it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize