Who wears a wallet chain?!
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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