What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
