Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
That was an excessively violent trivia night
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize