Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
