Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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