No awkward lesbian experiences without me
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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