Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
